Well we are still back stage at the strictly rehearsals and I am suffering from an eye infection brought on by the polish fumes from one of Marty McKeever’s false nails. Never the less professionals like us will not let the facts…….er, sorry, I mean an injury get in the way of a good story so we will soldier on here.

Okay great stuff. We have managed to get a quick minute with Bridgin Mills and Gerard Grimes. Guys thanks for joining us as it’s hectic back here.

Now Bridgin, we couldn’t help but notice some heavy strapping on you right leg, which according to Caroline Bloomer, is a serious dent to your title ambitions and the fact that you will be wearing a pair of Ollie’s bicycle togs to get you through the dances is not going to fly with either the judges or the fashion police. How do you respond to that type of remark from a fellow competitor who clearly fancies her chances against you?

Well guys it’s just great to see that these bunch of fools actually fell for the whole “I’ve hurt my leg” trick… as there is nothing wrong with my leg at all and the strapping was only used to let the others believe that Gerard and myself were falling behind and let them think that they were actually in with a chance of winning! As for wearing Ollie’s bicycle togs, I’m sure all the judges are worried about are the dance moves we will be pulling and not the clothes we wear, and seeing as Gerard and myself have youth on our side compared to the likes of Caroline and Marc and Brian and Majella there, I’m sure we will be perfectly fine on the night!

Gerard, it has to be said that you look great in those skin tight trousers. What type of preparation does it take in order to get into those and furthermore is there any truth in the rumour that Brian Lagan and Majella Laird were caught out trying to rig the voting ballet so as you two would be omitted from the competition?

Ah Jesus, I won’t disagree with you there now guys, but you have to pull out all the tricks at your dispense to beat off the competition. You know everyone is taking it serious, when the likes of Ronan Quinn go out and gets himself a pair of fancy new dancing shoes. I have also noticed a change in Wellies drinking habits, he now drinks a pint of water between each pint of beer, “keeps me hydrated, and on my toes” he says, but I just think Lisa has put the foot down and also it’s to keep him from sleeping on the bar all weekend. As for the skin tight trousers it’s a two man job to get them on. The old run and jump I call it, have to get someone to hold them, then I will take a few steps back, go full tilt and jump into them. A lot of work you may say, but as you can see yourself, it’s well worth the extra work. I had heard that rumour about Majella and Brian myself now, but sure that is just a clear indication of how scared they are of us. Majella and Brian might have the age over us, but we have the fancy feet work over them.  They know we are hot favourites and would do anything to jeopardise that. All I can say is “bring it”; we are still going to win.       

Bridgin you reckon that your freestyle routine is going to completely take out the opposition. How will you be able to fit a “Spinning Parkview Nose Dive”, a “Cavanakeeran Road Stagger” and “The Flying Beer Bottle” all into the one routine?

All them moves are great, but you should know it’s not the “Spinning Parkview Nose Dive”… its actually the “Parkview Crawl”. Which I learned religiously every Saturday night from Stacey Corr when she would come home, let’s say a little worse for wear, and her only option was to crawl from the taxi into the house! So after many years of seeing that on display I’m sure we will have no problem fitting all those into our freestyle routine! 

Finally, can you guys give us any insight into the dirty tricks that are going on behind the scenes? Is it true that Eilis Kelly keeps Denis Devlin locked in her cellar?

You don’t want to know half the dirty tricks these ones are getting up too!! We didn’t know some of them had it in them. As you know the key for the Pavilion is kept in Connolly’s, and as you know Jane works there and apparently couples have been looking to train and when they go looking for the key Jane has it stashed away, so that only her and Brendy can get practice in. RD has been getting up to some dirty tricks as well. Just the other day Marty went in for a haircut. RD can’t cut hair at the moment because of his broken hand, (how he broke his hand is still under investigation, apparently him and Niamh have been trying some new moves and lifts), but he insisted on cutting Marty’s to ensure it was done correctly, ended up giving him a really bad haircut, to put him off on the night! Oh and by the way, Denis Devlin definitely lives in Eilis Kelly’s cellar…..it’s a wine cellar too.